I wish self-esteem campaigns would focus less on “everyone is beautiful” and more on “who the fuck cares if you are beautiful or not”

i had a book when i was a kid where u could write ur own knock knock jokes and im still laughing at it

i saw a post that said ‘hannibal as a metaphor for capitalism’ and i thought it said ‘hannibal as a metaphor for cannibalism’ and i was like “buddy, have i got news for you”
no literally never go out in public with me I will say “dog” every time I see a dog and I will say “hello” to every dog that I meet and if we’re having a conversation I will stop and point when a dog goes by
i want one episode to just be a montage of hannibal suffering tiny inconveniences in his day to day life set to the most dramatic soaring music possible
I’m not sure we can beat the scene where Lacrimosa starts playing full volume in his head just because Will didn’t show up at the appointment.